The Modern Explorer's Guide to Interstate Travel

Truckstop Burritos

Did you know?

Burrito is the Spanish word for "little donkey."

 

 

Wondering if you should buy that truckstop burrito? Watch the cashier's face when you go for it under the heat lamp. If she shudders when you reach for it, put down the tongs. 

Some cashiers may even be kind enough to say "sir... you don't really want that."

 

Fort San Marcos: The outlet mall in San Marcos was once a historic fortress

Texas: Did You Know?  Fort San Marcos

The San Marcos Factory Outlet is a outlet mall along Interstate 35 in San Marcos, Texas, and the mall is situated in a historic citadel.

Fort San Marcos now houses Tommy Hilfiger and Jordache outlet stores, but it was once bravely defended by early Texans against Comanche bargain shoppers. 

The Fort still maintains its military status as a possible refuge in case San Marcos is attacked by New Braunfels. 

The battlements and lookout towers of the outlets give away its original purpose, and remind us of the heroic deeds and sacrifice that made this crass commercialism possible.

 

FUN FACTS:

• The Skechers outlet store was originally used as the Fort’s infirmary
• On the site of the Polo store, archeaologists found the remains of a soldier who was executed by firing squad for wearing a shirt with a popped collar

 

 

Daring soldiers at the fort in the 1800s defended their stubborn way of life that they built around sunglasses, cologne, and rampant materialism.

American History: Did You Know? Civil war conflict still undecided between city ham and country ham

In the American Civil War, the Northern and Southern states were divided sharply along what is now known as the "Waffle House Line."

 

 

The grease and saturated fat along this dangerous line cut many lives short, and divided many families in a debate over the moral implications of free access to a depressing breakfast 24 hours a day.

And to make matters worse, a battle is renacted in your mind every time the Waffle House waitress asks which you prefer with your eggs- city ham or country ham?

The video below will help you with your choice the next time it is your turn to weigh in on this eternal conflict. 

 

 

States: Did You Know? West Virginia

Almost heaven... 

West Virginia has more strip clubs per capita than any other state in the Union.

Also, the Mountain State boasts the highest rates of insomnia.

Is there a causal relationship between these statistics?

FUN FACTS:

The state motto is Montani Semper Liberi.  

That's Latin for "Mountaineers are Always Free to Stay Up All Night at a Strip Club"

Countries of Europe: Did You Know? Holland is the same as Netherlands

FUN FACTS ABOUT HOLLAND
or as it is known to its friends, by the nickname, Netherlands

First, here is a song about Holland written after a visit by one modern explorer:

"I LIKE THIS PLACE"

I Like This Place by Modern Explorer

FUN FACTS:

• The Dutch learn English by watching subtitled reruns of the A-Team  (No really! "actually it's quite popular.")
• The wienerschnitzel served at the Schiller Hotel in Rembrandt square in Holland uses a different voltage than the chicken fried steak at Love and War Restaurant in Plano, Texas.  (You can eat them at both but you must buy a converter.)
• There is no water in toilet bowl until after you have shit.
• Coffee shop is weed shop.
• Wooden shoes are just the beginning. Wooden pants are actually quite popular. Though splinters are common and often debilitating. (Much to the dismay of Lionel Richie when he released "Dancing on the Dike in Wooden Pants")
• Yes, then when Mr T sang it, it was actually quite popular. "Murdoch played bass." Yes, he did very well. I like this bass.

NEXT WEEK- FUN FACTS ABOUT OTHER EURO COUNTRIES

For example:

The taquito: not welcome in Spain!

Countries of Europe: Did You Know? Folk music industry professionals have to endure many hardships in their line of work.

One of those hardships is Europe.

Did you know, that just about every 50 miles you drive (oops make that kilometers - the European word for miles), you will likely hear someone say "fuck off" in a different language?

Here is a handy chart with a different color for every place with a different word for "shit."