The Modern Explorer's Guide to Interstate Travel

Golden Corral: If you finish your buffet quest, bathe in a chocolate reward

 

Celebrate your western heritage with a trip to Golden Corral, to experience a trail of beef and cheese your family won’t soon forget.

Now at America's favorite all-you-can-eatery, if you make through the quest of your meal, you will be rewarded with a visit to the chocolate fountain.

Before you chuckle, please remember that a chocolate fountain is no laughing matter: The chocolate fountain is 2 feet deep, so that’s enough chocolate to drown in.

But if the worst happens, and your relative falls in chocolate fountain, think how much easier it will be when you go see them in the hospital. It could be worse, at least he's coated in chocolate.

 

Truckstop Burritos

Did you know?

Burrito is the Spanish word for "little donkey."

 

 

Wondering if you should buy that truckstop burrito? Watch the cashier's face when you go for it under the heat lamp. If she shudders when you reach for it, put down the tongs. 

Some cashiers may even be kind enough to say "sir... you don't really want that."

 

America's Frontroads: Spotlight on "The Barrel"

Much has been said of the romance and beauty of backroads America, but too often, these backroads are filled with hillbilles, stoplights, and banjos.

The frontroads of America are well lit, well maintained (except in Arkansas), and reliable. In the coming weeks, we will be featuring profiles of businesses that you will find parked beside the interstates.

This month, we introduce THE BARREL

Yes, that one...

Did You Know?

• The chain is the single larger purchaser of white flour in America.
• Orders of biscuits and gravy come with your choice of either diabetes or atherosclerosis.
• Noone understands the wooden peg game that you find by the ketchup at your table, but everyone pretends it is charming.
  
• Pork is very popular here, in all its incarnations. The Tossed Pork Salad features bacon, pan sausage, canadian bacon, link sausage, and creamy chipoltey mayonnaise dressing.
• Many old people buy something at the Cracker Barrel store after their meal because they think it is expected of them and patriotic.
• Their billboards say it all with the awkward metaphors and faux folksiness that are the hallmarks of their advertising:

"Where Comfort Meets Food."

Please don't try to create a mental picture of this metaphorical meeting of an abstract feeling ("Hi my name is Comfort") and an entire category of physical objects of sustenance ("Hi my name is Food") because it can't be done.

• Other billboards feature: Gigantic spoons filled with.... Corn.

OLD MAN: "This Comfort sure is good, yum."

SON: "Dad, I think you've had too much Corn."

Wrong answer kid, there's no such thing as too much Comfort, or too much Corn.  You can get both at... The Barrel.

Next time join us for a profile of Days Inn!

American History: Did You Know? Civil war conflict still undecided between city ham and country ham

In the American Civil War, the Northern and Southern states were divided sharply along what is now known as the "Waffle House Line."

 

 

The grease and saturated fat along this dangerous line cut many lives short, and divided many families in a debate over the moral implications of free access to a depressing breakfast 24 hours a day.

And to make matters worse, a battle is renacted in your mind every time the Waffle House waitress asks which you prefer with your eggs- city ham or country ham?

The video below will help you with your choice the next time it is your turn to weigh in on this eternal conflict.